Who is Patman ?


       Born in the late fifties, in Hollywood California, Pat "Patman" Hall, was the illegitimate  son of a young waitress from Florida, and a Breakfast Cook from Tinsel town. As a baby, I was taken to see folks like Roy Rogers, & that Hollywood bunch...though I don't recall any dirt bikes in their garages.

 A couple of years later, growing up in the Sunshine state, and spending much time on the beaches of Daytona, it seemed that the interest in Motorcycles, and Racing in general, was inescapable.  Along with Surfing, Loud Music, and Girls in Bikinis...( duh ! )  Many days, nay years, of the young Patman's life were pissed away on the beach, surfing, playin' Frisbee, & watching the beautiful babes cruise by on their rented Honda Trail Seventies...life was good.

 Some of the Patman's early years were also spent here in The Great State of Texas, where my first cycle was purchased with the proceeds of a summer job working at the apartments my mother managed. A Suzuki 90. Eight speed.

 I learned to ride some motocross here in Texas, & later in Memphis, after the apartment management company moved my family there. A Suzuki 125..TS,   if I recall.  Stripped down, & painted yellow to match Roger's.

 Back in Daytona again, a more serious scooter was purchased...A Hodaka Super Rat 100, with lots, & lots of mods.  So, more motocross, a few Hare Scrambles, and lots more bikes of various types,  from the Screamin' Yamaha 100 MX, &  Puch 175, to the Ossa Stiletto, and even a Penton 175, were all on the Patman's platter in the early days. This, along with midnite Poker Runs through the Florida swamps, mid-day wheelies through the halls of the rival high school, and even the chance to run the Alligator enduro, were all afforded me...Patman the hoodlum, Patman the ruffian, Patman the nare-do-well.

  I was in the Theater there in Daytona...instead of school, for the very first showing of 'On Any Sunday', & I still keep a copy of it close at hand, in case I get caught up in politics, & crap, and forget what cycling is all about.

  I read every issue of Dirt Bike magazine in those days  and tried to absorb as much info as it had to offer, and to this day,  Rick " Super Hunky " Sieman, is one of my all time heroes ( Rick if you ever happen across this...you da man brother ).

 I've ridden the open class for the most part ( mo Powa! ) the CR5, the KX5, the ATK,  and the KTM. Every one was a blast...in fact, as far as I'm concerned, like they say about fishin'," a bad day ridin' is better than a good day anywhere else"....( 'cept for in the sack of course !   I think you know what I mean. ) !

  I've ridden in the north, & east, & of course in the south, and even in Germany, & Belgium, so now, the western desert race is the next thing on my list, though I'm quite enamored with this Texas Cross Country Racing Association thing at the moment.

 It's been a fifteen year moment, so far !

  I've done most all the work on my machines through the years, from porting & fork revalves, to special little Patman mods that remain secret. I like to think that there's no bike I can't fix, as long as I got  a rock & a blunt stick handy.   Though these days there are a few shops I trust to work on my machine...in the interest of time saving...after all, I gotta work for a livin' !  ! 

  It'll come as no surprise to you then, that by day,  I'm an Aerospace technician, for a local air ambulance outfit.  I have a heavy background in electronics, turbine engines, design, & to some degree, a liking for these damned computers.  I like a clean machine that never breaks down, be it my aircraft, my computer, or my RMX !

 Anyway, I love these damned scooters, and all you folks who ride 'em, don't really know why, I just do.

 A guy told me once, that " if yer havin' a shitty day, just laugh, & pull wheelies"...  It's a good sayin'.

 As my pants are gettin' tighter all the time, I find myself usin' it more & more!

 What else ? Well, let's see, for some years, now ( about 20 ), I've enjoyed Martial Arts . I like a little Kung Fu before breakfast, now & again, though it's not holding my interest as much as it used to.  My wife holds a black belt herself,  and my boy is starting to get involved as well.

 Movies ? I love a good movie, Science Fiction, action...the usual guy stuff, but a good movie is still a good movie...even if Arnold doesn't rip someone's arms off.( Joe versus the Volcano, Patriot Games, Medicine Man, The Matrix and Contact, are some of my favorites oh yeah, don't forget Six days & Seven Nights  - Go Harrison ! ). 

 Mountain Biking is something I took up a few years back to stay in shape for the real races, but I found that it's a sport unto itself, and I try to ride a couple of times a week now. It's great fun, and it's quiet enough that you can visit with yer ridin' buddies as you go. ( Pro-Flex is what I Ride)

  Music, lots, & lots of Music.  I like fooling with MP3s,  I Play some Electric Bass, & Enjoy a nice Audio / Video System. In the old days, I liked bands like 'REO Speedwagon', & 'Fleetwood Mac', & 'Rush'. Now that I'm younger, I like 'No Doubt' & more alternative music. And some acid Jazz on a quiet Sunday mornin' while drinkin some coffee on the back patio is cool as well.


  Patman believes in Science, Treading Lightly on the Planet, The Right To shoot anyone who invades my castle, Equal Rights,  Free Speech, & fun toys !

   " Just do what ya know is right." 




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